Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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