Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
