my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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