A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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