Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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