I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
