maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
