so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
