Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
