Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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