Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
