I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
