I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
