I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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