Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
3pm strippers are depressing
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
