are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
