I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
