she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
