Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
