if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
