Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
