So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
