I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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