You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
