hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
