Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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