I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
