you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
