4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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