Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
