I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
