I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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