we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
