I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
