I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
