what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
