Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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