If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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