her vagine was all disorganized.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
