you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
