Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
