and you said cock pushups were impossible
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
