My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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