i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
