I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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