ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
