Porn is love you can see.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
