so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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