I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
