I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
