told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
